Surely I'm too old for all of this! I should be 'working to live, not living to work' which is certainly what I am doing ATM.
I'm sure it's all for a good cause and will be well worth it in the long run, but right now I am just treading water.
I was so touched today when I got some notifications from my long lost Twitter pals. There I was in my consult room in our new clinic and my iPhone kept buzzing away (as it does on silent). So nice to be jolted back to my 'other' reality.
Doing what I am doing is pioneering for nurses and I feel very privileged in many ways.
But it is also isolating and all consuming. I have always just gone to work, done my job and returned home again (which meant 'clocking on' to the mother role though of course). I had a 'life' on my days off and didn't think about work at all.
Now I seem to be either consulting with patients (which is what I love) or attending meetings and dealing with all the management stuff which is all very new to me - a huge learning curve. On my days off I am constantly checking my work emails and doing the rosters...
I made the decision to do the Lean and Strong program this round. I was worn out form all the running I'd been doing, everything was aching all the time. So I thought getting stronger would help. I do love the weights program, but I just can't keep up with it! Missing one or 2 sessions a week was OK, but more than that just isn't good enough.
I started quite well, but it meant getting up at 4am before an early shift and being ultra organised with my clothes for work etc. I know, I know - everyone else does this too...My hours are long and the nutrition plan has gone out the window. I rarely cook during the week - lucky my family can fend for themselves pretty well.
When I was 'just' running it seemed much easier - just get out of bed and go, then come home again and get ready for work. All over in 1/2 an hour or so and longer sessions on the weekend.
The weights sessions are getting longer and longer and harder and harder and I just haven't been able to keep up. More excuses.
I was also burning so many calories while running and I was able to keep the weight off even with my constant snacking - I could literally burn food off. Now I have put on 2 kilos (like overnight as soon as I stopped running) and it is all around my belly and going nowhere fast - and now there are only a few weeks to go until the party.
Now I am worried I'll be going to the party feeling like an under-achiever, not in the shape I so wanted to be in. But - it will be great just to see everyone again :)
I think I am just going to have to start running again?? Perhaps just do the weights sessions when I can in between and one day when I have time launch back into the L & S program again. I did buy that bloody Garmin after all which just doesn't get used with the weights sessions where hardly any calories are burnt (difficult for the brain to process when that was such an incentive).
The other big thing that has just happened is that we sold our house. Not exactly jumping with glee with the price we got, but so be it. So now we have to find somewhere else to live, and all the stress that goes with that...
So my friends, thank you for listening to my grumbles and most of all thinking of me. I hope some normality returns at some stage